Fox & Friends Still Hasn't Told Trump That Roy Moore Lost

Democrat Doug Jones narrowly defeated controversial Republican candidate Roy Moore in Alabama's special election Tuesday, marking a severe blow to the Trump/Bannon political machine. But it seems that nobody has told Roy Moore, his supporters, or most importantly, the president. Trump held a campaign-like rally Tuesday evening, and another Wednesday morning, where he repeatedly congratulated Roy Moore on winning his senate seat and for running such a tasteful, non-embarrassing campaign. 

Two of the president's aides attempted to gently break the news after CNN called the race in favor of Jones, but Trump reportedly roared in anger before guzzling a two liter of diet coke and screaming 'Fake News! Fake News!' One aide explains, "He didn't want to hear it. When he starts throwing a tantrum like that we generally just need to give him his binky and another diet coke so he can calm down and forget all of the information that he didn't like. We're just going to wait for Fox & Friends to tell him."

Writers at Fox & Friends were up all night, frantically trying to come up with ideas on how to best inform the president about the news he does not want to hear. Steve Doocy, anchor and head writer for the morning show expresses his concern, "This is really going to be a tightrope walk. Whether we like it or not, we're responsible for the president's mood every day. We don't want the president to think it is his fault or that an entire state hates him. That could lead to him doing something drastic like starting a nuclear war, or worse, to stop watching Fox & Friends and start calling us 'fake news'. Plus, it's going to be really hard to tell him anyway. He is having so much fun at his rallies doing his little plays with Roy. Maybe we'll wait and just tell him tomorrow. "

As of 11:10 AM EST Trump has still not been told the results.

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