Sheldon Adelson Plans to Buy Two House Representatives and a Senator with Funds from Tax Break

Paul Ryan took some heat over the weekend after he deleted a tweet celebrating an Indiana teacher’s $1.50 per week increase in pay thanks to the GOP’s recently passed tax bill. The teacher playfully jested that her tax break will help pay for her yearly Costco membership. Democrats were quick to call foul for the tax bill’s disproportionate appeasement to big business and the mega wealthy. They implored Americans to ask why an Indiana teacher only benefited by $1.50 per week while corporations and the top 0.1% of got millions.

But how are the mega wealthy spending the money saved with their tax breaks? A source close the Sheldon Adelson, a Las Vegas casino magnate and high profile Trump contributor, tells Probably Legit that Adelson plans to purchase two more Paul Ryans, and another McConnell.  “Sheldon will receive around $1.5 million per ‘paycheck’ in tax relief. With that amount he can easily afford to buy two more representatives and another senator.  He’ll also have plenty extra for his hobbies. Mr. Adelson enjoys paying The Poor, as he likes to call them, $10 an hour to watch him eat caviar and swim in large pools of cash. It’s his way of giving back to the community and stimulating the economy by trickling down some his wealth.”

The casino owner was not shy about responding to the story, not only confirming that he plans to buy more representatives and senators, but also stating, “Owning your own senators and members of congress is fantastic. They have represented my interests relentlessly for years and I look forward to adding more of them to my collection. I don’t understand the fuss. Everyone should buy a senator and congressman. If The Poor weren’t so lazy they could pool their tax savings and buy a senator or representative of their own. All it would take is 300,000-400,000 people pooling their savings to rent a senator for a couple years so that their interests could be addressed. If a majority of The Poor did this, they might be able to buy enough representatives to win against mine. But no, they are too busy begging for handouts. Scum.”

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