Baby Trump on the Loose – Last Seen Running Through White House with Scissors and Nuclear Button

It has been another disastrous week Trump. He and his administration continue to deal with the aftermath of the Parkland school shooting, the ever deepening Russia investigation, and the constant string of controversies large and small in the White House. The pressure and stress have once again reached a boiling point, and to the dismay of all White House staff, Baby Trump has emerged.

An aide close to the president reports, “It all started when the governor of Washington told him that he needs to stop tweeting and listen. We all thought he was going to throw a tantrum right then and there, but he held it together pretty decently. Kelly even gave him an extra popsicle for doing such a good job. But then the next day during ‘executive time’ he saw all of the late night shows and tweets making fun of him for saying he believes he would have ran into the school with an active shooter even if he didn’t have a gun. In total he was called Captain Useless or Captain Bonespur over 300,000 times in a six hour period.”

Multiple sources indicate Trump then transformed into Baby Trump and screeched “Fake News” over and over. He then stream-of-conscious tweeted a series of contradicting, erratic, and hypocritical comments before finding a pair of scissors and a nuclear button and sprinting down the hallway. The aide goes on to explain, “He’s hard to catch when he’s in Baby Trump mode. He’s so small and slippery. We normally let him tire himself out, but he had opened the scissors and was holding them by the blade. He’s hiding now, but everybody is on high alert to try to catch him. Obviously the nuclear button is just a decoy that we let him play with, but he could really hurt himself with the way he is running with those scissors. Hopefully we’ll be able to corner him and give him a goodnight cheeseburger to calm him down.”

As of the writing of this article, Baby Trump is still on the loose.  

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