Jeff Sessions Robot Still Stuck In ‘I Do Not Recall’ Loop

It has been just six days since the Attorney General Robot, Jeff Sessions, testified before the House Judiciary Committee. The committee was split in their lines of questioning. House republicans repeatedly asked the robot if he planned to investigate fabricated Clinton scandals, while house democrats demanded answers on alleged collusion with Russia and the robot’s previous testimony under oath.

The hearing appeared to be standard with no new revelations until New York Democrat Jerrold Nadler took the Sessions-bot down a line of questioning that ultimately led to an answer the Attorney General would repeat 280 times over the remainder of the hearing. “I do not recall.” Multiple sources in attendance of the hearing reported seeing a small puff of smoke come from the robot’s left ear before it twitched and repeated the phrase three times in quick succession. One source states, “I think part of his board fried during that line of questioning and he entered into a talking point loop.”

So far staff at the Attorney General’s office has been unable to fix the malfunction. One staffer, who wishes to stay anonymous, tells Probably Legit, “It’s gotten bad. He answers ‘I do not recall’ to everything now. We’ve locked him in a closet while we work on rebuilding a new one. Hopefully it will have a more advanced circuit board that can withstand such vigorous questioning.”

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