Hillary Clinton Furious That Donald Trump Stole Her Smoky Entrance to Queen Idea

After what many are calling a four day witch hunt and hate rally, recent reports indicate that Hillary Clinton is most upset that Donald Trump entered his convention through a cloud of bellowing smoke to the lyrics of a Queen song. An aide close Clinton reports, "She just paces back and forth and plays the clip over and over. After it's done she screams 'That was my fucking idea!' and punches a new hole through the hotel wall."

In a Republican National Convention that catered to one member who actively called for Hillary to be shot by a firing squad, as well as multiple chants of 'lock her up' and 'guilty', many in Clinton's camp are concerned that the candidate seems to only care about Trump allegedly stealing her entrance idea. Clinton's chief campaign manager, Huma Abedin, states, "She has been planning on entering the stage for her acceptance speech to We Are The Champions by Queen for nearly 10 years now. We were all really bummed when Trump ended up doing it, but I think she is focusing solely on this as a kind of coping mechanism. I mean that entire hate rally was really hard to watch. I just don't buy it that she doesn't care that she was linked to Lucifer to a chorus of boos and that millions of people want her dead or in jail. That would be hard on anyone. I think she is compartmentalizing everything, but she just keeps punching holes through walls and yelling 'No, I am the fucking champion!' so I don't know."

As Clinton's acceptance speech nears, her staff has been busy contracting out the many wall repairs and trying to keep their candidate calm and focused. Abedin continues, "We've been trying to maintain a delicate balance of using this to channel that fury and determination that she'll need over the next 100 days, and showing her clips from DNC speeches to remind her what she's been fighting for and that not everybody hates her. I think it's working. Now, we just need to find her a new song."

When asked for her reaction after watching four days of RNC coverage and how she plans on entering the stage now, Clinton punches another hole in the wall before sighing heavily and stating, "I will do my best to fight for everyone in this country, even those who hate me. And I'll just walk in and have some sort of wind machines or something I guess... and maybe Roar by Katy Perry. I don't know. Fuck! God damnit!"

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